小窗子葉莎

 

2015年母親走的時候,我時常天一亮就開始和外勞阿弟一起摺蓮花,有一次在長廊上的一個小窗子旁和阿弟擦肩而過,阿弟突然和我說:

 

「三姐,妳知道嗎?以前阿嬤每天要進房間睡覺前,都會透過這個小窗子看三姐房間的燈,如果燈暗著就說,三姐去那裡啊?怎麼還沒有回家?如果燈亮著就唸,三姐千萬不要熬夜喔,要早點睡, 熬夜傷身體!」

 

我透過小窗子,才發現這個小窗子恰恰可以遙望我的房間,想到母親生前坐在輪椅上,每個夜晚癡望著燈火擔憂且喃喃自語的神情,當下崩潰大哭。

 

前幾日頭痛腿軟乏力, 水瀉不止,知道自己已經自律神經失調,所以鎮日昏睡沒有過去看爸爸,這一次換成爸爸在小窗子前擔憂了,得知我的狀況後,馬上開了藥方過來,要兒子去中藥房買藥回來煎煮,果然前天傍晚服完一帖,雙腿逐漸恢復力氣!爸爸說這是因為這陣子都吃不下飯加上心裡鬱悶憂思難解造成的,要我務必要吃飯,心也要放下!

 

以前我常常站在自己的臥室窗前賞雲賞水田看飛鳥看四季,如今我知道有一個小窗子背後有愛我的一雙老眼睛,生命就不再只是隨興和任性而已!

 

20170313

 

感謝大家的愛護,在此一併答謝!

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